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Gatekeeping happens in areas other than sex. Where in your marriage are you a gatekeeper? #MarriageQuestion ~ TMB Twitter
The word gatekeeper is usually associated with sex. But it simply means limiting or preventing access, and that can be done with many things.
Some men gatekeep affection. Others limit communication. A man can gatekeep his time. Some men who are the only or primary breadwinner control money in a way that is clearly gatekeeping. And in about one marriage in five, the husband is a sexual gatekeeper.
Gatekeeping can be about selfishness, control, or both. But regardless of why it happens, it’s unloving and contrary to the way God expects us to treat our wives.
Let’s set the example by being generous with our wives. Open the gate. No, better yet, tear the gate down! Give of yourself freely and without considering the cost or any possible reward.
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This gatekeeper concept is interesting. Something I had not considered. I am in one of those 20% of marriages where the dh is the gatekeeper of many things, including sex. My thought is this: a perceptive spouse can tell the difference between someone doing something because they want to and someone doing something because they’re trying to check a box. Maybe for other things having a box to check is fine. But having sex with someone who really doesn’t want to be having it just isn’t all that enjoyable.
@Jennifer – Many men, and a few women, are saying Amen to your comment.