Podcast: Download
Subscribe RSS
The Harvard Study of Adult Development is an amazing body of work. For 84 years and counting, they have followed 268 Harvard sophomores and a group of boys from Boston’s poorest neighbourhoods. They are now following the offspring of the original subjects and have added their wives. They do questionnaires every two years, along with in-depth interviews, talking to their spouses and families, brain scans, and medical histories.
In a Ted Talk, Robert Waldinger, the current director of the project, said that a survey of Millennials found that over 80% said a major life goal was to get rich. And half said they wanted to become famous. Waldinger went on to say their study shows this is not the path to happiness. The study finds that having good relationships is the way to have a long, healthy, and happy life.
Waldinger says that while social connections are good for us, loneliness kills. Those who are connected are happier, physically healthier, and live longer. Lonely folks are less happy, their health and brain function declines earlyier in life, and they die younger. He goes on to say it’s not the number of friends you have, but the quality of your relationships. While a good marriage protects us, a bad one is harmful.
How satisfied men were with their relationships at fifty was a strong prediction of their health and happiness at the age of eighty. The most satisfied men at fifty were the healthiest at eighty. Additionally, octogenarian men in good marriages said they were just as happy on days when they were in physical pain. Men in unhappy relationships found physical pain magnified their emotional pain. Being in a secure relationship with someone you can count on results in your memories staying sharp longer and your brain functioning better as you age.
The study says all good relationships are beneficial, but marriage is especially powerful, be it for good or bad. If you want to grow old, be healthy, and still be in your right mind, making your marriage better is a critical step. A good marriage helps you, a distant marriage isn’t helping you, and a bad marriage hurts you. Waldinger suggested a bad marriage might be more harmful than a divorce, but the study has not proven that.
Listen to the TED Talk:
TEDxBeaconStreet | What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness
Image by Sofia Shultz from Pixabay
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.
> “while social connections are good for us, loneliness kills.”
Well, yeah…
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him.” (Genesis 2:18 [NET])
:-)
These statistics might be true for men, but not for married women. Not all single people are lonely either.