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The other day my son and I were talking about parenting. He said he is learning when to make a big deal about something and when to let it be and see if it will go away on its own. He has learned that sometimes when you make a big deal about something that just causes the child to dig in their feet.
Some things you have to deal with, some you can let slide and see if they go away or continue. If they continue, then you deal with them. If we look at this as choosing which hills to die on, the third alternative is to wait and see if the other side makes it a hill you have to die on.
While marriage is rather different from raising a child, there is still wisdom in knowing when to let something be. If things were tense, you can dismiss an angry tone or ugly word as the heat of the moment. If it becomes a habit you may need to say something, but if it’s a rare occurrence silent grace and forgiveness are a better choice.
The other version of this is to let it be for now, marking it in your mind to circle back around to when life is less stressful. This improves the odds your wife will agree she was too harsh and it prevents in-the-moment escalation. It also gives you time to think about the situation and honestly ask yourself if your choices and behaviour were what they should have been.
A post worth reading:
the art of non-conformity | “I Wish I’d Made That Change Later” – said no one ◄ Letting fear of regret guild you.
Image Credit: © #Jon Anders Wiken | stock.adobe.com
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There are a lot of things about me that she’s decided to leave alone, like the Revolutionary War artillery piece in the living room.
Think I’ll maybe cut her some slack.