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It has been said men are hunters and we love the chase. When we decide we want a woman as our wife, the chase is on. Based on that, the wedding is a celebration of our conquest.
Thing is, your wife doesn’t want to be a conquest. When she married you she didn’t see it as confirmation that you had “won” her. She saw what you did that day as a promise. You took vows, before God and man, to love her and care for her for the rest of your life. You promised to be faithful. And you promised to do these things both when life is good and when it sucks.
I’ve also seen it said men cheat because they long for the chase. I’ve even heard folks say a wife can prevent their husband’s cheating by continuing to play hard to get so he has to keep chasing her. And, yes, some go so far as to suggest limiting sex does that. I find such advice downright evil. It makes for an unhappy marriage and it means you think it’s the wife’s fault if her husband strays.
If you need the thrill of the hunt, do it at work. Or find a hobby that fills that need. You caught your wife and then you promised to be an amazing man for her for as long as you draw breath. That might not sound like as much of a thrill, but I assure you it’s far more of a challenge than catching another woman.
Image Credit: © Dennis | stock.adobe.com
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Something here you bade me see,
something bad I now must face;
I was consumed with victory,
and the courtship was a chase
from which, completed, I’d return
to my vital parts of life
after efforting to earn
more a servant than a wife.
I’m sad such evil could reside
in me, behind the masque of Good,
and I now will not try to hide
that fell knowing (that I could!),
but rather bend soul that pretends
to somehow, some way make amends.
So you think that it’s the wife’s fault if he strays and the wife decides she doesn’t want sex with him? This is the ‘evil’ here, not her deciding to not have sex with a cheating husband. And then you tell him to do his hunting at work??? What is going on with you? I never thought I’d hear such wrong thinking from you.
@Dan – I don’t understand how you got this from what I said as I didn’t address that issue. If a man is cheating, his wife has every right to refuse sex until he stops and the situation is worked out.
Saying a woman can prevent cheating with more sex suggests it’s her fault if hubby cheats, and that is evil.
When I said the thrill of the hunt at work (or a hobby) I meant the thrill of the chase trying to be better at work. Sorry for the confusion.
Dude. Take a, breath and read it again.
That’s not what he said at all. Not even a little bit.
You said, “It makes for an unhappy marriage and it makes it the wife’s fault if her husband strays.”
So how am I supposed to read this?
I comprehended it the same way Dan did.
The wife is responsible for the husbands sin.
Because when I read stray I interpret that as committing adultery. Admittedly I don’t live in America and therefore it may mean something different in your culture to mine.
If you don’t mean that then don’t say it.
I was a little shocked to have you put it so directly in words but…
I can see that is probably not what you mean but it is not clear in the way that paragraph is currently structured.
@K – It seems some got what I meant, and others did not. What I meant was that kind of thinking says the wife is responsible.
I will change it.
I get my “thrill of the hunt” from actually hunting, as in animals for food. That’s enough. I don’t want to “hunt or chase” any woman. I tried being the pursuer and found it to be an endless struggle with no possibility of success. My wife has made it very clear over the years that she’s not interested in me so I stopped chasing after her.
Contrary to popular stereotypes, I want to be hunted. I want to be chased. I want to be the object of desire.