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Years ago, Lori and I learned a great saying from a friend who’s a pastor’s wife: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” We’ve used that with each other and I think I’ve written about it here. But I recently realised I’m not living that advice as well as I should.
I have a bad habit of doing things I don’t need to do. My internal dialogue says if I can fix something I should and if there’s a good chance I might be able to fix it I should try. The thing is, I’m a fairly capable guy and there are a lot of things I can potentially fix.
It’s all well and good to be helpful. But without good boundaries, it’s easy to end up doing too much. That leads to being too busy and always tired and/or not having enough time for what really matters.
My belief in, and pursuit of, margin has helped me with this. Bbut I now realise my need to fix and trying to have margin are at odds.
So I’ve been thinking and praying about this. What is my circus and who are my monkeys? I know I’m called to love and bless my family and friends. I’m also called to help with marriages. In order to do those things well, I need to back off on some of the other things I can do that are beyond my circus and not about my monkeys.
I mention all of this because I doubt I’m the only person in the world who can benefit from my little epiphany.
A post worth reading:
Dr. Corey | Filtering the world ◄ A great fit for my post.
Photo by Becky Phan on Unsplash
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It’s also a popular saying in addiction recovery circles.
Thank you. I really like this and thank you for your honesty
It came as quite the quick surprise,
and it came sharp and clear,
the moment brought to realize
that I’m not needed here.
There is not much, now, I can do
to make the world a better place,
but far from being sad and blue,
this brings a kind of grace,
a freedom from the avarice
for a temporal glory,
a freedom lets me make the choice
for a brand-new story
in which I’m not an iron knight,
but rather shade of air and light.