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Over the last couple of decades, I’ve become a better-than-average cook. At first, I was tied to recipes as I learned the science of cooking. As I started to make the jump to the art of cooking I could look at a recipe and know I would want more or less of an ingredient. Or I could add, remove, or replace an ingredient without ruining the flavour. I might also modify the recipe by using a technique I’d learned for something else. Now I’ve reached the place where I can look at what we have and pull together something tasty on the fly.
The science of cooking makes you a good cook. Moving to the art of cooking makes you a great cook.
Sex is much the same. At first, you learn the basics, the science of sex as it were. That can make you a good lover. But great lovers have embraced the art of sex. They know how to make substitutions and when to use different techniques. They read their wife’s mood and arousal and know how to give her what she most wants based on those. Does she want it fast and hard, or slow and easy? Is she all about coming this time or are closeness and intimacy her greater need? Is this one of those rare times when she can have multiple orgasms or will trying for a second ruin the whole thing for her? Does she need prolonged foreplay tonight or is she eager to get to intercourse? Does she want to come before you make love or after?
Part of the challenge in all of this is your wife might not be able to tell you what she wants. But if you study her you will learn how to know based on her words, her actions, and how her body responds. If she is usually slow to lubricate, but she is occasionally thoroughly wet when you get your hand between her legs, that difference means something. If she rarely used the f-word, when she does she is telling you she is feeling very aroused or very eager to have you inside her. If she normally moves a lot but is still on occasion, that means something too. It might mean she’s not into it and you need to slow down or even back up. But it could mean she is unusually into it and will have a massive orgasm if you stay the course.
I can’t tell you what any of these things mean for your wife, because women are all different when it comes to sex. When one woman says “Don’t stop“, stopping might ruin it for her. But when another woman says the same thing stopping a couple of times before taking her to climax will make it fantastic. Your wife is unique. She is the canvas on which you paint and you must know her better than she knows herself to become a great lover for her.
Moving from the science of sex to the art of sex is scary. You will mess up on occasion. But if you have a good grasp of the science your mistakes will still be good sex. And as you learn, you will become a great lover and your wife will be blessed by your efforts.
Tall White Hat Tip to chef Martin Bayer on Quora – his posts have helped me move from science to art!
A post worth reading:
Dr. Corey | Deciding beforehand ◄ You can’t decide how you will feel, but you can decide how you will act.
Image Credit: © alfa27 | stock.adobe.com
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The Art of Love is something
I never understood,
and it never could take wing
for I was just no good
at reading all the little signs
that I was meant to learn,
and for this a slew of fines
was all that I could earn,
so I gave the game away,
and then I saw, to my surprise,
the dawning of a brighter day,
and beheld new friendship rise
from the pile of burned-out dead
embers of the marriage-bed.
This is amazing 🤩 more husbands should be like this vs “just tell me what you want, I can’t read your mind” 🙄