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I still have an urge to put my hands in my pockets when I enter a knick-knack shop or antique store. The reason? When we were kids, my mother always told us to do this so we wouldn’t pick things up and break them.
So why at the age of 50 do I still have to fight the urge to put my hands in my pockets when I go into such a shop? When I realised what I was doing and why I started to fight it. But I feel uncomfortable when my hands are not in my pockets. The reason for this is that our childhood has a deep and lasting impact on us, for good and for bad.
My example is one that is somewhat obvious; most holdovers from childhood are far less easy to spot. Yet, those things are still there and they are still affecting how you act and how you treat others.
When you overreact, especially with your wife, think about why you did what you did. If the current situation doesn’t explain your reaction, what in your past is driving that reaction? It’s not easy to change patterns like this, but being aware of them is a good start. Don’t be controlled by your past!
Addendum: This post is now a decade old. I still catch myself putting my hands in my pockets out of habit, but only occasionally, and I no longer feel uncomfortable if I don’t do it.
[This post first appeared Nov 15, 2011.]
Photo by Hulki Okan Tabak on Unsplash
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I don’t go to knick-knack shops,
or even an antique store,
but Barb sees one, and she stops,
going through the ring-bell door
to see just what she may find,
some great treasure or surprise,
while I follow on behind
with a pair of rolling eyes.
I can maybe understand
her delight in being here
if I have in either hand
a nice and frosty can of beer
that when she sees it, wants to buy it,
I can partake of balanced diet.
It may be shades of the past, but I find myself doing the same just to reduce the odds that I lose a few hundred bucks by bumping into something. It’s a good idea in my book.
@Robert Perry – I’m more afraid of tripping and not being able to catch myself because my hands are in my pockets and taking down a shelf!
Didn’t you post this last Friday?
@alchemist – Nope – last Friday was http://the-generous-husband.com/2022/07/29/friday-flashback-sex-her-way/