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I’ve always been good at looking at something that doesn’t work and figuring out a way to make it work. I can fix things in non-conventional ways and see third alternatives for most problems. This is just how God made my brain and I’ve applied it to sex both in my life and with those Lori and I have worked with.
What I find odd is I know others who generally see these out-of-the-box fixes who can’t do the same with sex. Give them any other problem and they can come up with a creative fix or workaround. But when they hit a sexual road block, they’re stuck.
My guess is this is a result of us being so uptight about sex. Our fear and confusion about sex make it difficult for us to think clearly about sexual issues. Another place I see this is women who can talk endlessly about anything but can’t say more than three words about sex. Or the person who can share how they feel about most things, but not about sex.
All of this comes from bad teaching and learning from folks who were uptight about sex. Our parents and culture have passed this down to us and not knowing any better, we have accepted and lived it. It’s limiting our sexual pleasure, hurting our marriages, and doesn’t benefit us in any way.
God is extremely open about sex. Most of our Bible translations have worked hard to hide that, but it’s there. Consider the following passage where God is talking about the spiritual adultery of His people:
Yet she increased her whoring, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses. ~ Ezekiel 23:19-20 ESV
God didn’t stop at saying they had committed adultery, He gave a graphic analogy that we find shocking.
Or what about this:
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. ~ Proverbs 5:17-18 ESV
The word fountain there means penis or ejaculation. Breasts is probably better rendered as nipples. Fill or satisfy actually means to water, as in watering dry earth. Intoxicated means just what it says and it’s not the only place God tells us our sexual encounters should be as if we are drunk and uninhibited. And, finally, the word love has a sexual connotation.
God is not shy about sex. He encourages us to enjoy it fully and He uses graphic sexual analogies to explain following other gods. Our sexual uptightness is not of God and is actually contrary to what God does and calls us to do.
Of course, this is difficult to change since we have been steeped in it since birth. But we need to try, both for ourselves and for others. As we become less uptight about sex, we can help the next generation do better.
BTW, all this sexual fear and hiding does nothing to reduce sexual sin; it actually increases it. When sex becomes the forbidden fruit people are drawn to it. Some folks find the elicit nature of teenage sex part of the thrill and struggle to enjoy married sex because they have lost that thrill. Nothing good comes of being uptight about sex and we need to be rid of it
A post worth reading:
Dr. Corey | Sexual worldview ◄ Along similar lines to this post.
Image Credit: © drubig-photo | stock.adobe.com
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