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On Monday I told the women on the XY Code to Teach Your Boys About Women. One of the things I said they needed to teach their sons is that “for women, conversation is not a full-contact sport with a winner and a loser” and that “disagreeing is fine if you can do it without being disagreeable!”
It that’s news to you, you’re welcome. But there’s more!
Women usually argue to resolve things, not to win and a necessary part of the process is hearing each other. They want you to hear what they think and feel. They also want to know what you think and feel. They would like their feeling validated, even if you don’t agree with their conclusions. They don’t argue primarily to win, they argue to understand and be understood.
Men are more about winning an argument. And we don’t need to understand another man’s thinking, much less his feelings, to do that. We want to prove we’re right and, in doing so, we prove the other guy’s wrong. Giving him time to fully express himself is counter-productive to that goal.
If you can learn to really hear what she thinks and feels, and express your thoughts and feelings to her, you will find it far easier to resolve things with your wife. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose!
A post worth reading:
Dr. Corey | Lead by example ◄ Always good advice!
Photo by Afif Kusuma on Unsplash
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