Podcast: Download
Subscribe RSS
Yesterday I talked about how underlying marriage conditions could make us ripe for divorce when we are hit with something a marriage should be able to survive.
Today I want to discuss some of those conditions.
- Lack of communication: Working through problems requires being able to talk about them. If you haven’t developed good communication or haven’t communicated well for some time, you’re in big trouble when problems hit.
- Always tired or stressed: Being tired and/or stressed makes both our bodies and our minds less able to deal with things. Be it a virus or a marriage problem, you will be more likely to succumb.
- Busyness: Even if busyness doesn’t lead to tiredness or stress, it means you don’t have enough time for your marriage. That means your marriage is weak and you don’t have what you need to get through a difficult stretch.
- Disconnected: This is often a result of busyness, but some couples with plenty of time to spend together don’t. Being disconnected is like already having one foot out the door.
- The wrong friends: Studies find we are more likely to divorce if we have divorced friends. Beyond that, friends who will encourage you to fight for your marriage are a plus, while friends who encourage you to badmouth your wife are a detriment. I’m not telling you to ditch anyone, but I would encourage you to consider how much time you spend with various friends and how that might encourage or discourage a divorce if you had marriage problems.
- You and your wife are not friends: If you enjoy being together, that’s going to help you when things are difficult. If you’re not friends, it’s easy to wonder why you should fight for your marriage.
- A lack of sex: Regular sex doesn’t mean your marriage is solid, but sexual problems mean your marriage is hurting. Good sex can be a way of staying connected when things aren’t going well.
- Porn: Most women see porn use as a problem even if they don’t push the issue. That means some additional problem that should be survivable becomes the straw that breaks the marriage.
- Abuse: I don’t mean beating her, although that certainly makes divorce more likely. I’m talking about yelling, controlling, and trying to limit her. Sometimes when a woman claims abuse as the reason for leaving she has put up with emotional abuse for years and decides she’s had enough when some new problem is added to the mix.
- Selfishness: A lot of selfishness means your wife is already wondering why she is staying in this marriage. That means it will take far less for her to bail out.
Generosity and kindness create a marriage safety net. Friendship, enjoying things together, and a mutually enjoyed sex life do the same. If you work on these things and deal with any underlying conditions, you can survive things that would end most marriages.
A post worth reading:
Dr. Corey | I don’t know ◄ Can you freely say those three words?
Image Credit: © Ezio Gutzemberg | stock.adobe.com
Shop Amazon ♦ Shop to give links page
We’re donation supported Thanks for your help!
This post may contain affiliate links, see my disclosure for info.
Leave a Reply