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Odds are your wife has had orgasms she didn’t want to have and didn’t enjoy. I know how that sounds to the male mind but stay with me.
The sad reality is rape and molestation victims experience orgasm far more often than most of us know. Orgasm is a reflex of the autonomic nervous system, the part of the nervous system we can’t consciously control; provide enough of the proper stimulation and it will occur even if it’s not wanted. This happens to both men and women who are forced to have sex. And it makes a horrible experience even worse because the victim feels their body has betrayed them.
So what does this have to do with your wife?
Hopefully, your wife has not been raped or molested. But the reflex aspect of orgasm can show up in other situations. Many women have sex they don’t want when they are dating because they have been told it’s the price of admission. If she’s just doing it because she has to, she may not want to enjoy it and may feel bad if her body does.
This can also happen in marriage. She says yes because she thinks she should, or to get him to shut up about sex. She wants it to be quick and over so she can move on and then she has an orgasm she wasn’t looking for. You would think that would be a happy bonus for her, but if it convinces her guy she really wanted sex when she said she didn’t, that’s a problem.
Most men assume their wife’s orgasm means she wanted, enjoyed, and is glad she had sex. Some men take it even further and assume if she had an orgasm their marriage is doing well and she is happy. In reality, she could be on the verge of leaving for any number of reasons and still have an orgasm.
If you know how to get your wife to orgasm regularly, good for you. If you make assumptions about what that means, that’s not so good. All an orgasm proves is her body works and you have half a clue. That’s all it proves. Knowing all the things you have thought an orgasm means requires talking to her and really listening to what she says.
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