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Recently my son got an early morning call from an older lady for whom he does odd jobs. Her pump had frozen and she needed his help. He was going to be paid and he has become somewhat protective of this woman, but he was still put out by having to change his plans and drive to her place in the country to help her. The situation was an inconvenience for him and he blew off steam about that as he got ready to leave.
I realised that I was seeing myself in what my son was doing. His reaction to being inconvenienced was very similar to the way he has watched me react to being inconvenienced for the last twenty years. God grabbed my heart at that moment and I was saddened and ashamed of how I have reacted to inconvenience. My reaction is hardly what I would expect Christ to do and it’s not loving. I have tended to let people know about it when they inconvenience me – especially if I deem them “worthy” of my doing something for them despite the inconvenience. Even worse, I do it to those close to me, including at times my wife.
I did not like what I saw of myself in the mirror that was my son that morning and I have spent about two weeks working through those things. I will post more on this the next couple of days, but first I would ask each of you to think about how you react when those closest to you inconvenience you.
Post Script: As I rerun this post more than ten years later, I can see I have grown a lot in this area. Not as well as I would like, but I do see improvement.
A post worth reading:
Dr. Corey | It’s okay to not be okay ◄ Let’s be honest with ourselves and others.
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Thank you for the reminder.
I have adopted a phrase that I got from my pastor 7 or so years ago. He mentioned it in a sermon and it stuck with me and I have now shared it with countless people. The phrase is simply “inconvenience vs. opportunity.” When that situation/circumstance in life happens I can chose to see it in one of two ways; inconvenience (putting me out) or opportunity (God giving me the chance to show love/grace/forgiveness). I do believe that sometimes we find ourselves in some pretty tight spots, however even in those tight spots this principle is true. Sometimes things are just inconvenient and that’s ok, but I have learned that even in my being inconvenienced I can still see opportunities for God to grow me in His love/grace/forgiveness. BTW, that is a lesson that has taken me 40 yrs to see and now another 10+ of working on it to get some understanding.
@Lee B – A very Bob Goff approach. May we all be more like this.
Thank you for sharing and re-sharing this. I have been noting some of my own reactions lately that I not happy about. I know I use to act more like that and had worked to do better. I’m not sure if I have just fallen into old, bad habits or if it’s the current stresses combined with a recent change of medication but I don’t like what I’m seeing. More to the point, I don’t like how I am acting at times. It isn’t very Christ-like and it isn’t even usually how I feel inside.
So I’m praying about this and working on responding with grace rather than reacting with irritation.
As Lee described, perspective can completely change the situation. I know that and I really need to remember it when it is important. Yes, I can apologize for my reaction and try to make it right but I feel it is better for that to be the exception and a Christ-like response of grace to be the norm.
Thank you again for sharing. It always helps to know that there are others struggling alongside, even though that means more people are grumpy and irritable when we should be filled with grace.