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I strongly encourage you to read At Depression’s End, a great post on depression from a husband walking with a wife who has struggled with it. Aside from being well done and full of great advice, this post shows that anti-depressants can be a temporary tool used to learn to deal with depression. While some people may need long-term or lifelong medication, many do not.
I bring this up because depression is too often treated as a lack of faith by well-meaning Christians who don’t have an understanding of the issue. It seems that we think things of the mind are easily controlled; we just have to choose to change or have enough faith. Most people who think this would never tell a person with cancer they will be fine if they just have faith and would not chastise someone for using chemo-therapy to beat their cancer.
Depression is not “all in the mind.” Depression is a chemical state that results from certain brain chemicals being out of balance. It is no more or less “in your head” than feeling hungry or horny – all of these things are a result of chemicals in our bodies changing both our bodies and our minds. Ignoring depression is not an option and no one can “just snap out of it.” You could be made depressed by administering certain drugs and nothing you thought or did would change how those drugs made you feel. When the chemicals originating from the body cause depression, rather than chemicals from outside, it’s just as real and just as impossible to beat by force of will.
Anti-depressants are a mixed blessing, but in some cases, they can literally save lives. Anti-depressants tend to flatten out both the highs and the lows, but when life is all or almost all lows, it’s not like there are highs to lose. Anti-depressants can also mess with sex drive and sexual function, but then so does being depressed, so some folks actually have better sex on meds than without them. Additionally, it is often possible to modify the dose or drug(s) to reduce or eliminate sexual side effects.
Sometimes drugs can help break the cycle of depression so the person can learn to cope without the drugs. Be aware you may have to push to try this approach. I had a friend who became depressed when a job injury left him unable to do much more than basic self-care for almost a year. Surgery eventually fixed the issue and he was able to return to work and a normal life, but the depression didn’t go away. After six months on anti-depressants, he told his doctor he want to be weaned off them. The doctor resisted the idea. My friend basically said, “I’m doing it with or without your help”. The doctor helped him and two decades later he has never needed anti-depressants again. This is not possible for everyone, but it’s possible for some.
If you, your wife, or a family member is dealing with depression, please don’t see it as a failing or a lack of faith. Please don’t think it will go away if you ignore it and don’t think that shame or silence will help. Be proactive about getting good help so you and your loved one can have a better life.
In the interest of full disclosure:
- I’m not a doctor, and I am not giving medical advice here.
- I’ve never suffered from depression, nor has any close family member suffered any significant depression other than post-partum depression.
- I have had a number of friends who have dealt with depression and I have seen several overcome depression with the help of a season of anti-depressants.
- Yes, I believe God can heal both the body and the mind. I’ve seen some of both. I also know that He doesn’t do this nearly as often as I would like and I don’t have a good explanation for that. I’m sure it will all make sense in eternity.
And finally, if your wife struggles with depression and anyone questions her faith, lovingly tell them to shut up!
[This post first appeared Nov 06, 2011.]
A post worth reading:
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My DW got very depressed after hurting her back and she was stuck in bed for several months in constant pain and mostly unable to sleep. When the doctor recommended anti-depressants, I was all for it. She hates to take medicine and of course in a depressed state one does not think rationally. I had to stand there and almost force her to take the first pill assuring her it was for the best, she was crying, but she took it. A few months later after she began to recover she realized she was not excited about things she normally would get excited about and decided to get off them. She hasn’t needed them since, but she really did need them at the time.
I am sure meds can sometimes be helpful, for a season. I have sometimes seen people have this approach backfire, however. It can be really hard to get the right meds in the right dosage. I have witnessed people try anti-depressants and then become more depressed, even suicidal. This issue is a tough one.
@Angie – It’s tricky, and it requires time and a skilled doctor.
The other issue is insurance will pay for drugs, but often not for therapy. And many need both to get well.