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Long work hours was men’s number three big relationship problem in the study I’ve been discussing the last few days. For women, it was number five.
Sub categories were “I spend many hours in my work“, “I do not have much free time for my partner“, and “I often put my career on top of the relationship“. Again these were self-confessions, not complaints about one’s partner.
Too much work and not enough time for your marriage is something I talk about regularly here. It’s one of the big underlying causes of poor marriages and divorces. I suppose I should be impressed so many folks admitted this is an issue.
Ultimately, this comes down to your choice. If you want more time with your wife you can make that happen. Doing that will require sacrifices, so it’s a matter of priorities.
The number two problem women cited was not making compromises. The breakdown includes a number of things and felt a bit scattered to me. The big ones were “I do not easily compromise” and “I am not patient“. Most of what was listed were the opposite of the fruits of the spirit and I’d say come down to a lack of maturity issue. Pretty much the same could be said for the character issues that made up women’s fourth most common obstacle to a good romantic relationship. “I’m selfish” was the most common response in the character issues category. Insecurities, jealousy, and always complaining were also listed.
Two items in character issues deserve mention. One was “I have psychological problems“. I would call that a medical issue, not a character issue. I realise in some circles you’re expected to have multiple so-called psychological problems. But when it’s a real issue, not a badge of honour, please take it seriously and get help.
The other item was “I neglect myself“. If your wife neglects herself, please, please speak up. Aside from the headship issue here, this won’t end well for her, or you, or your marriage. A bit of selflessness is one thing, not meeting your basic needs is another, and it’s wrong and destructive.
A post worth reading:
the art of non-conformity | Time Will Pass Either Way ◄ Time exists independent of your actions.
Image Credit: Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash
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