But She Has A Speck!

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One of my biggest frustrations in trying to help couples is how often I hear “What about him/her” when I confront someone about something they’re doing wrong. It happens in person and it’s even worse in blog comments.

Yes, I know your wife is not perfect. And, yes, I know she does things that make it more difficult for you to behave as you know you should. But unless I missed something hidden in the Greek, Mat 8:3-5 needs to be applied to our marriages

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. ~ Matthew 7:3-5 ESV

We all know the best defence is a good offence and it’s human nature to attack those who suggest we’ve done something wrong. But this doesn’t make it a successful marriage tactic.

How do you feel when your wife does this to you? Has it ever resulted in you saying “Honey, you’re right and I will work on that.”? No, it makes you feel she is trying to avoid dealing with something you want her to deal with. Her response makes you more upset.

The reality is God expects you to deal with your stuff regardless of what your wife does or does not do. It’s not optional, it’s required. The fact that it increases the odds your wife will deal with her stuff is just a nice bonus.

My wife has developed the habit of saying “Where am I doing that?” when she sees someone doing something wrong. It’s an excellent biblical habit to have. If we all did more of that, we would have a lot fewer bad marriages.

A post worth reading:

mike glenn | Yes You May ◄ We already have permission. So let’s change our thinking from “may” to “will.”

Image Credit: © Stanislaw Mikulski | stock.adobe.com
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