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You must create more margin so you have room for what’s important, not merely urgent. ~ Michael Hyatt
I assume Micheal has read Charles Hummel’s Tyranny of the Urgent, originally released as a booklet in 1967. Hummel posited that there’s a tension between things that are urgent and things that are important, and warned that too often the urgent win.
In a business setting, this could look like you being so worried about pleasing your boss or your client you don’t do enough of the work required to accomplish what you are being paid to do. In marriage, it can look like being so focused on keeping your wife happy you don’t do things you need to do for the sake of your marriage. You burn yourself out trying to make a good impression and don’t do things of substance that will matter in the long run.
I think part of the problem with urgent is it keeps us from seeing the big picture. We get focused on the current disaster, and then the next one, and then the next, and we never stop to think about the long term goals. You’re so busy with the spot fires all around you, that you don’t see the firestorm coming over the ridge until it’s too late!
I’ve seen men shocked by a divorce because of this. They were busy trying to meet the little daily needs but were not addressing the long term issues and needs. They were putting out spot fires when a divorce storm ran them over!
The other issue here is that we misjudge what is urgent. Self-care is a big one here. In critical moments self-care should be set aside, but if we keep doing this we crash and burn. Many things that are only important become urgent when they’re ignored for too long. Your wife’s need for a date night might be this way. If life is crazy you can justify missing a few, but if you keep doing that her need will become urgent. And if you fail to understand this change your marriage will suffer.
The real key is having margin. Without margin, you can’t do all of the important things that need to be done. Of course, having margin requires living a life with fewer urgent things. That’s scary and difficult, and it will take a lot of prayer and hard work to make it happen. But the alternative is something that’s not good for you or your marriage!
A post worth reading:
Knowing Her Sexually | Episode 55: Her Hormones and Your Sex Life ◄ Hormones have a huge impact on her sexuality.
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