How do you react when it becomes obvious “Plan A” is not working out? Or maybe I should say when it should be obvious, “Plan A” is not working out. For most of my life, I have held onto things that I should have let go of, and it’s cost me. In part, it could be because I’m stubborn. Maybe I think I’m smart enough to make it work. There may be some pride involved. And a big part of it is I want what I want, and once I set my sights on A, I don’t want anything else.
I can think of a couple of times when this worked out well. But if I’m honest, there are far more when it did not. It’s cost me time, money, reputation, and maybe even a few friends. It’s also cost my dear wife. Knowing when to let go is a tricky thing. There are times I’m really glad I didn’t give up. My marriage would be one such thing. But I’ve got a big pile of dead horses I kept whipping long after it was over.
What about you? Can you see when Plan A is in trouble? Can you tell when it’s on life support? Can you pull the plug when you should? Or perhaps you fall the other way, giving up on things too easily. Either way, it’s good to know yourself so you can deal with things better in the future.
A post worth reading:
Knowing Her Sexually | Helping Your Wife Balance Motherhood and Sexual Intimacy ◄ It will bless you both!
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Paul, at the age of 61 most of us guys that you refer to as having “Goodwill” have a string of actions or decisions that went awry having “seemed like a good idea at the time”.
Married sex: Married a girl that didn’t care for my favorite sexual activity. (36 years later still the worst aspect of my life, as I can’t seem to let go of it!)
Married dumb move: Moved my new bride into my widowed mothers house on the farm to help care for my dying mother. (Good access to the farm etc.) 36 years later she’s never had a house that wasn’t in some way her MIL’s.
Financial dumb move: Should have left a 14 year job when I saw my department slowly dying, and went to my present employer (same industry) 5 years sooner. (That would have netted me 1M+ more thus far in my career.)
You obviously get the point with your “should be obvious” comment.
My husband hates my favorite sexual activity, too, but he was the one who initiated it to begin with! The best I can do is realize that 1. People are allowed their preferences 2. People are allowed to change their minds 3. I have the choice of divorcing over it or accepting the loss because the bigger picture of our lives is worth far more than cunnilingus.
My plan A burned, too. Looking back I wish I did a lot of my life differently, but here I am picking up the pieces of my dreams that were **** on by reality. That sounds miserable, but we’re moving forward with our current reality and making headway.