Every month in 2021 I’m going to suggest a book that can help your marriage. This month is a twofer.
I was sitting at a friend’s house the end of last year and I saw Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box on the bookshelf. I asked to borrow it. My question now is why did I not know about this twenty-year-old book sooner?
While this is primarily a business book, it addresses marriage and parenting as well. The basic idea is that we make a mess of our relationships because we are in a state of self-deception. This makes it impossible for us to be as understanding, caring, and loving as we should be because we don’t see ourselves or others accurately. (BTW, if you think you’re not self-deceived, you’re wrong!)
If you feel stuck because your wife won’t change, this is THE book you need. If you want to be better but feel stuck, this will help. If you know a couple in trouble, give them each a copy of this book. Likewise, for any engaged couple you know. If I had read this before I got married I could have missed out on a lot of pain and suffering – and saved my wife from some of the same.
Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box
by The Arbinger Institute
The follow-up book, The Anatomy of Peace, is more marriage and family-focused, but you need the first book as background.
A post worth reading:
The Hero Husband Project | Is Your Wife About To Walk Away ◄ Yeah this is a real thing, and the men are almost always clueless until she walks.
Image Credit: © The Arbinger Institute
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I love the fact of working on your marriage with biblical references. I have been working on myself for a long time God inspired. Surprisingly, many flaws of mine needed to come out of the dark for me to have a better relationship with my Amazingly patient husband. So important to see your REAL self, imperfections, faults. Which is so hard but makes you, in my case, a better wife. I will be reading some of your suggestions of books.
100 % agree. Your problems won’t go away but you will see the problem that stares you in the mirror more clearly if you’re open while you read.
We compartmentalize relationships far too much. Many of the things that will make you truly successful at work, at church, in sports clubs will make you more successful in your marriage and in parenting.