Over the years we’ve come to see that the only thing more tragic than the things that have happened to us is what we have done with them.
Words were said, painful words. Things were done, awful things. And they shaped us. Something inside of us shifted. We embraced the messages of our wounds. We accepted a twisted view of ourselves. And from that we chose a way of relating to our world. We made a vow never to be in that place again. We adopted strategies to protect ourselves from being hurt again. ~ John & Stasi Eldredge
This comes from the book “Captivating” which is for women, but it’s true for many men too. We felt attacked, wronged, defeated in the past, so we changed how we do things to avoid ever being in that place again. We closed off a part of ourselves so it can’t get hurt.
Thing is, those closed places are no longer available for good either. No one can make us feel good there. What’s more, we usually close more than just where we were hurt, shutting down related things out of fear.
One of the biggest complaints we hear from women about their husbands is that he is closed. They want in; they want to know him and connect with him on a deep and intimate level. And not being able to do that hurts them. It also pushes them away sexually.
Closing it off may have been necessary back then, but it’s time to work past it and open up.
A post worth reading:
Knowing Her Sexually | Rhythm Can Rock Her World ◄ Cause only doing one thing can drive her nuts!
Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
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