As I look at next year, I’m thinking I will write a fair amount about becoming the man you want to be. This is what God has been doing in me for a good while now. It hasn’t always been a pleasant journey, but I am exceedingly happy with the results. Lori is also happy about changes in me and in our marriage – the latter being a combination of me becoming myself and her becoming herself.
A couple of questions this may spawn:
- Is this a change of direction for the blog? Not really. Since you’re reading a blog called “The Generous Husband”, I assume you want to be a good husband. Being a good husband is part of the man you want to be. Sometimes improving our marriage means working on ourselves, and sometimes it means working on things not directly related to marriage. Every part of who you are enters into your marriage, so changes in who you are will change your marriage.
- What about being the man God wants us to be? I’m all about that, but ultimately we work towards our vision of who we want to be. We each choose how much weight to give God’s input about who we should be.
- How can we not be the men we think we should be? I would say very few of us are even close – including me. Everyone we know has an opinion about who we should be. Media has an opinion, our church has an opinion, and society as a whole has an opinion. We can easily lose who we think we should be in the sea of opinions about the issue.
- Do you think you’re an expert on this? I wish! However, I do have a growing body of experience, both personal and second hand. In some ways, I’ve been working on this my entire life, and for the last couple of years I have been very intentional about it. I’ve read all I can, I’ve prayed, and I’ve worked hard on myself. I think I’m further down this path than many, and I can offer what I have learned. I’m sure some of this is not one-size-fits-all, but even if something doesn’t fit it should stimulate your thinking.
There will be several ways I try to help you with this:
- Help you see the myriad of influences in your life. We can become like fish – unaware of the water in which we swim. If we don’t see an influence, how can we avoid it?
- Help you decide who you want to be. This is a combination of weeding out what you don’t want and adding what you do. This process will (or at least should) continue the rest of your life.
- Help you move from who you are to who you want to be. Once you have an image of who you want to be, you have to work on becoming that man. This means overcoming obstacles, including those in your own mind. It means disciplining yourself to stop doing some things, and start doing other things.
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No surveys last week due to the holidays.
Great tweet of the week:
Romance is easier than you think. Just take action that says “You are important to me. I am devoted to you.” @forbetterorwhat
Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
New blog this week – Dave Willis. Dave is a pastor and the founder of StrongerMarriages.org. I’ve been doing some of his posts on facebook and Twitter, and it way past time I add him here.
Featured Post – A must read article I saw this week:
All In posted The Best Gift to Give Your Wife This Year ◄ She want it, she needs it, and it’s not too late to give it!
Dave Willis
The Sex Talk ◄ Couples need to be able to talk about sex!
8 simple ways to instantly improve your marriage. ◄ Do any of these and you will see an improvement. Do them all, and watch out!
The Generous Wife
More Thoughts on 2015 ◄ Are you expecting the right things.
After Holiday Assessment ◄ Time to do a recap!
Leading Men Only
Know Your Priorities – Where Does Your Treasure Truly Lie? ◄ This is a great time to rethink your priorities.
Marriage Gems
How to trade loneliness for connectedness, and how did we get here? ◄ Are you disconnected?
Rebel Authentic
What is “Everlasting Life,” and when does it start? ◄ You can start NOW!!
Excellent topic – it can be so hard to get “there” from “here”.
Who am I supposed to be, anyway? And what on earth does God EXPECT? The basic question…and with your help, perhaps we who read this – and you, who write it – may find some answers together.
http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2014/12/married-at-church.html
BudekSchmeisser Thanks for including me in there! May we all figure it out and move in the right direction.