You may have noticed I am on a bit of a margin kick recently. So, a post about sex and margin was inevitable…
I have said, and shown, that tiredness and busyness are major sex killers for women. Since margin is all about being less tired and less busy, this is a natural fit. However, it is more than just a better opportunity. One common complaint from wives is their husband rushes to have sex, and then rushes the sex. She wants more non-sexual time before sex, and she wants to move slower when she has sex. Margin allows you to do both without worrying you will run out of time before you get to the sex!
Margin also gives you the chance for some unplanned spur of the moment sex. I know, I know, your wife isn’t like that. Maybe she’s not like that because she is so busy or tried that sex never sounds good. Margin will change that. More margin in your marriage should also result in more of her needs being met, which can make for a lot of great changes – including a greater openness to sex.
For this to work, you need to convince your wife to add margin to her life. Both her life in general and her time with you. I know I’ve already pushed the book a couple of times, but let me say Margin may be one of the best marriage books out there – even though it is not intended as a marriage book! I suggest you get it and challenge your wife to read it and discuss it with you. I’m so sure of this, I’d say do it even if you have to agree to read a book of her choice as well. (And do her book first!) Don’t tell her you want her to read the book so sex will be better, just tell her you think the book will help both of you and your marriage. (Perhaps suggesting a book that is NOT about sex will impress her!)
At the very least, more margin will mean a more relaxed relationship, far less stress, and less arguing. In and of itself, that’s all good, and it can only help make sex better.
Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives
Paperback
Kindle
Audiobook
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In this series:
The marriage benefits of margin
Margin gives you time to be loving
Meet me at the fire pit
Margin and sex
If I had more time …
I’ll step up to the ‘margin’ challenge. Un-busy is one of the prescriptions for great marital sexual encounters and hard for me to do. Great post, Paul!
I meant to say WE’LL step up to the margin challenge. I’m forwarding this to Mr. Muscle.
I completely agree, having breaks throughout the day helps me to be so much more ready for sex in the evenings.
Hey, in the future can you add your affiliate link for the kindle editions of books as well. Even just at the bottom of the post. I’m sure I’m not the only one who doesn’t buy paper books anymore! :)
Patrick – I do on occasion, but I should be better about it. (I am all but Kindle only myself).
That said, if you click on the link give then go to the Kindle link from there, I still get credit.