I once tweeted*, “Ever notice kindness and busyness tend to be mutually exclusive? Are you too busy to be kind?”
Yes, this is another margin thing. Kindness is far easier when you have margin in your life. When you’re rushed, you don’t want to take the time, but when you have time to spare it’s easy to be loving, kind, and generous. This is true at work, in line at the store, in traffic, and in your marriage. Add some margin to your life, and I bet you will find yourself being a nicer person.
* Follow me on twitter @themarriagebed
Image Credit: © Paul H Byerly vis stockdreams.ai
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In this series:
The marriage benefits of margin
Margin gives you time to be loving
Meet me at the fire pit
Margin and sex
If I had more time …
Though I suppose this could be a separate topic I think it does fall in line with margin and kindness.
I have noticed that my DW, when engaging in conversation with other women, more often than not spends most of the first half of thier conversations just steamrolling her conversation the other person without regard for what the other might be trying to say.
It’s not the typical being excited about the topic steamrolling, it is the tear the road up lay the new one down, shut up I’m speaking kind of steamroller.
It is unfortunate and sometimes concerning because when someone starts the conversation it is like pulling the keystone out and DW explodes like a dam, bowling over the person with a monologue.
At first I was compelled to take her aside to admonish her DW that she is being very rude when she does this. Indeed I sometimes think her conversation partners are offened and hurt by her behaviour, especially when these people had come to her for a shoulder to cry on.
But then the Spirit convicted me quite handily…the reason my DW acts this way is because I HAVEN’T DONE MY JOB and given her enough opportunity to do that with me.
Now that was an eye opener!!
I have started building margin into my end of day time, usually when she comes home and just before dinner. But frequently now I will intentionally ask an open ended question and let her take the floor.
Last night she cornered a friend again so I guess I need to add more margin but it is a simple thing to do.
The more of this margin I can build into my day will bless her immensely, bless our marriage and it will bless her friendships too.
Cheap investment it is gentlemen with incredible returns indeed!
Rick – I like that you were able to see how your actions might be a factor, and that you are dedicated to working on that. WELL DONE!
May we all do as well.