Have you ever felt good when you were angry? Anger is the primary “negative” emotion for many men – and the primary emotion of any kind for some of us! Many of us were taught emotions are weak, and we learned from experience emotions could hurt us or make us vulnerable. These lessons can lead to trying to control emotions and limit the emotions we show and feel. Anger is a popular negative emotion because it seems powerful. Anger gets things done, and we don’t see angry people as weak.
This might be valid when anger is rare, but when anger becomes common, something is wrong. Frequent anger is bad for our bodies, and our minds, and very bad for our marriages. It may feel safe to be angry, but that is a lie. Ongoing anger limits, distances, and destroys. If anger is your “go to” emotion, it’s time to rethink things. You can choose to change how you react, but it will take work. Most of us will never be free of anger, but we can learn to react in anger less often, and we can learn to make our anger short-lived when it does happen. Your wife will be blessed by any effort you make.
A great article on anger is Stop Anger Before It Starts from Chronic.Marriage.com
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