Given the need to feed, clothe, and provide shelter for our families, earning income must be a high priority. Sometimes that means putting the demands of the job ahead of the desires of the family – better to miss some event than to be unemployed. That said, our job can become a tyrant doing harm to our wife, kids, health, and life in general. The issue is one of balance. How you balance work will depend on what you and your wife want for your lives.
If you place a high priority on things costing a lot of money, you need to make more income than if you find time together to be more important than things. If you’re willing to live in a smaller house, drive an older car, take smaller vacations, and not own every new iDevice the day it comes out, you can work a less demanding job. However, if you want more, your job will have to pay more, which usually means more demands on your time.
Personally, I’m coming to see “things” as overrated, but I’m not trying (too hard) to convince you of that. What I do want is for you and your wife to agree on how much you want. If you’re working many hours, and she wants more of your time, you’re at cross-purposes. The same is true if you want a simple life and she wants a fancy life. Have a long talk about this issue, and make sure you’re on the same page. Then look to adjust your income production accordingly.
“Nobody on their deathbed has ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office’.” ~ Rabbi Harold Kushner
This is one of seven posts about busyness:
The sin of busyness?
Too busy because too much is too important
Checkpoints
Playing “the kids” card
Employment and priorities
Too busy for good sex
When church/ministry makes you too busy
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Great tip! And along with all the “things” usually comes debt. Our greatest freedom came through paying off the mortgage and becoming debt free. (Pro 22:7 The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.)
Mel – Very true. Better to be poor than to be enslaved!
I recall an interesting stat from Feldhahn’s “For Men Only” book that by a significant margin women picked having their husbands more available over having more income/stuff.
Scott – I’ve seen that from several sources.
Sure, there are a few wives who just want a cash cow for a husband, but they are the rare exception.