Repeat after me:
“I am sometimes difficult. I am sometimes rude, sometimes short-tempered, sometimes impatient, and sometimes grumpy. And sometimes the words coming out of my mouth are absolutely unintelligible to anyone not living inside my head.”
If that’s not all true of you, or there are other things which should be listed (anger, perfectionism, pettiness, you get the idea), modify as necessary. Then think about putting the statement some place where you (and only you) will see it regularly. This is not about making you feel bad about yourself; rather, it is intended to help you to see what your wife has to deal with on occasion. The next time she’s short with you, maybe it’s because you have been too many of those things recently. Alternatively, perhaps it’s because she is some (or all) of those things on occasion.
With all this in mind, do you think just maybe your wife deserves more grace than you give her? Perhaps you need to go give her a kiss and thank her for putting up with you!
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Ouch. I’ll humbly own that rebuke.
Thanks Paul!
My wife needs my grace (as I need hers and we both need the grace of God). However, you
However, this post is based on an oxymoron. One cannot deserve grace. Grace – unmeritied favor – cannot be earned or owed by definition. To deserve is to merit. So we, as fallen humans, cannot merit unmerited favor. What my wife deserves, what I deserve is the eternal punishment of hell. What we receive is the grace of God. I would be foolish to withhold a little grace from her, despite receiving so much from God.
This is bad post because grace isn’t given by bad people and you are appealing to our badness to get grace. It will never work.
Despite the negative comments, I think you bring up a very good concept that we as men need to definitely put into practice. Thank you for sharing your insight through the Grace of God!
Guys… I think the point here is that our wife most definitely deserves grace from US. We are in the very same boat that she is – equal in all our sinful ways. Don’t confuse that with us claiming to deserve ANYTHING good from the Lord Himself. That’s a different story. He owes us nothing, but He has CHOSEN to give us grace because He loves us.
What your comments have implied is that we are all on par with God… I assure you that nothing is further from the truth.
Re Grace: The first few definitions of Grace in my concordance, those which are not about God. are:
that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech
good will, loving-kindness, favour
I do think my bride deserves that from me. In fact I’d go further and say God has commanded me to be that way with her.
The UNMERITED grace of God is an entirely different thing. But even there, are we not told that we should respond to His love and grace by offering the same to those around us>
I agree with Some Married Guy, you cannot, by definition, deserve grace.
Justice is getting exactly what we deserve. Mercy is not getting the bad that we deserve. Grace is getting the good that we DON’T deserve.
I do think God calls us to give our spouses Mercy and Grace, so I think the point of the post is on target, just phrased poorly.
Love Letters – You can not deserve good will, loving-kindness, and favour?