Ever notice how people’s supposed strengths are really about a weakness? The person who is independent fails to build good relationships because they don’t trust others. The man who is unconcerned about what others think can’t be corrected. The man who listens to everyone well had no ability to voice his own needs. The peacemaker is so unwilling to deal with conflict, his wife is deeply frustrated. Putting a good face on a weakness doesn’t make it a strength, and any strength can be taken too far, becoming a problem, a flaw, or a weakness.
We tend to be good at identifying our strengths, but not our weaknesses. Beyond that, it’s human nature to put a positive spin on things, and that can cause us to pass off a weakness or failing as a strength or a good thing. Of course, others are less likely to buy into these delusions. This is especially true for those close to us—like our wives!
Think about your strengths and what they may mask. Beyond that, consider the difficulties that could come from taking good qualities too far. If you really want to see it clearly, ask a close friend or your loving bride for their perspective.
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When we look at the biblical understanding of sin, I think that we can safely expand on this thought to say that every character trait, every strength, has its weaknesses. There are no aspects of our personality that are untouched. Even those that, on the surface, seem “Christian”, like being kind, can be infected by our self-centeredness and be all about us. Asking our bride to help us see that is a huge act of courage.
Every leader that falls usually falls because the person became so prideful in their strengths that their strength actually destroyed them. Here is a great book – “Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership” by McIntosh & Rima. This is true no matter what level of leadership you are at – whether it is leading a family, a church, a community, or a nation.
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