A few Sundays ago, I linked to When Those You Love Push Your Buttons, an outstanding post by Gary Sinclair on his Safe at Home blog. I strongly recommend you go read, no study, that post.
I mention this as a hat tip. Rather than pushing your wife’s buttons in the way we usually mean it, find buttons that make your wife feel good, and push those!
Just as you know how to push the buttons that upset her, you know what makes her feel good, loved, desired, safe, and so on. Maybe you haven’t thought about it that way, and maybe it will take some thinking to identify those buttons. It may also take some trial and error to find the best buttons, and when to use them to best effect. Just think how great it will be when you get a few of those buttons figured out! She’s sad? You know how to make her feel a bit better. She’s grumpy? You know how to deal with it (which might include some space). She needs to calm down? There’s a button for that!
Figure out how to push her buttons the right way. Learn what to say, such as kind, encouraging words, and what to do, such as massage, or taking a walk. This is not about manipulation, it’s learning to plug into something deep inside her, causing a powerful positive reaction. Fine tune until you have a solid set of wife blessing buttons at your disposal.
Is there a button that gets her in the mood? She probably has a few of those too, but they tend to be inactive until a few other buttons have been pushed. Still…
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[…] Find Good Buttons To Push – this is a MUST read for all husbands. Too often we focus on the negatives and how to fix them, rather than working on the positives. […]