This is another post based on information from When Baby Makes Three, the 2011 State of Our Unions a report from the National Marriage Project.
The study found that good sex is important for a good marriage. Specifically “above average sexual satisfaction” was the number one predictor of being very happy in marriage – 38 percentage points higher for men and 39 percentage points higher for women compared to those who were “below average sexual sanctification”. Additionally, high sexual satisfaction was the number two predictor of not being prone to separation or divorce, for both men and women. For husbands and wives, a good sex life means a happier marriage and a very low chance of divorce.
The study also found that high sexual satisfaction is more common for both men and women in marriages that have “high levels of generosity, commitment, religious faith, and couple-centered quality time“. Additionally, women were more likely to report sexual satisfaction if they felt their husband was doing his share of the housework.
What I see in all of that is a virtuous cycle. A good loving marriage makes for better sex, and better sex makes for a better marriage.
Inevitable rant: So we now have proof that a great sex life is the number one way to help people have happier marriages and the number two way to reduce divorces. If the church is really all about good marriages and preventing divorce, it seems to me that we need to get serious about helping couples with sex. We’ve abdicated our God-given responsibility to teach about sex and the devastation we see in marriages is the fruit of that choice. I think we need to repent, ask God to forgive us, and seek Him about how we can change all this. Let’s be bold about telling both those who follow Jesus and those who do not that God created sex, intended it for pleasure, and designed it to make marriages strong and happy. Or, we can continue to let the world define sex and have more of the same… or worse!
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Hello, this is my first post to this website, however, i want Paul and Lori both to know that I have been on this site for quite some time, and just got married this saturday (17th) and am happy to now be able to be a aprt of this community.
For my first post I definatly want to say that as christians, I personally feel that we are way to secrative about sex, and especially helping/shareing with others about their sexual adventures.
We need to learn how to be open about sex in a way that is comfortable for each individual, yet not make sex seem as its some naughty thing that we must not talk about.
We serve a God who has given us the gift of sexual pleasure, and as far as that pleasure goes, to each his own.
We as christians should be able to open up more to each other, and try to help each other if our relationships are truly lacking sexual passion.
I hope this was understandable, and pray this will be good information to others.
Paul,
Great rant!
HUGE thumbs up and an AMEN to your rant. I know you’d want to know the link above isn’t working properly. But, this one did, http://www.stateofourunions.org/2011/when-baby-makes-three.php
[…] 11. If the church is really all about good marriages and preventing divorce, it seems to me that we need to get very serious about helping couples with sex. The Generous Husband, Sex–Important to Husbands and Wives […]